the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize