Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
