There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
