and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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