yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
