I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
