Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Please don't give away my fajitas
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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