New invention idea: vibrating tampons
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
