Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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