Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
