Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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