Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
