so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
