If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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