some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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