You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
