I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
