He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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