I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
