oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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