Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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