I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
