so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
