when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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