ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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