I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
