i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
