Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
