Whod you bang
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We got so high we made milksteak
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
