Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize