super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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