made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
