Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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