the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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