Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize