Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
