remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
