Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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