And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
