We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize