His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
