I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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