This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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