Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
do nipples grow back?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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