And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
