my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
