Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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