If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
