doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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