I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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