First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize