Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
