If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
