Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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