Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
