if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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