Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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