There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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