just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
