My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
