You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
