I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
