Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
