it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
