Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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