Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
