The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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