You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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