The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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